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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069253">love's heavy burden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonexistentwench/pseuds/nonexistentwench'>nonexistentwench</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types, Romeo et Juliette - (Quebec 2006)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, External POV, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rape Aftermath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:15:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069253</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonexistentwench/pseuds/nonexistentwench</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tybalt takes his resentment for Romeo out on his best friend, unearthing some long-hidden feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benvolio &amp; Mercutio &amp; Romeo Montague, Mercutio/Romeo Montague</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Five Figure Fanwork Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>love's heavy burden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alley_Skywalker/gifts">Alley_Skywalker</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Benvolio elbowed Romeo as they climbed up the trippy, poorly-lit stairs to her apartment, when the door opened to reveal the upteenth tall, dark and handsome scantily clad boy leaving their apartment.</p><p>“The paragraphs about the magic of total submission are doing something right, looks like.”</p><p>Romeo did not laugh, looking sour-faced at his feet. “Where does he even find these disasters, I never-”</p><p>He stopped abruptly, his head snapping up, staring at the disheveled boy in the hallway, and as Benvolio grabbed his hand recognition clicked for him too. He remembered the sour face and lank black hair from the pictures of his case folder, from the family pictures and the one mugshot he had put together - this was the son of judge Capulet, whose father had the fate of their whole family in hand and whose kid sister Romeo had apparently been screwing on the beach the last couple days.</p><p>“Of course he fucking would do this,” he muttered, irritated by Mercutio’s bad timing. There was no time to hide under the stair, but he still instinctively tugged at Romeo’s sleeve to flatten against the wall and let him pass by. Optimistic to a fault, he tried to look away as well.</p><p>Useless - Tybalt’s hand brushed against his arm as he passed and curled around Romeo’s neck like a snapping snake, pushing him against the wall with a loud thud.</p><p>“Fuck off,” he spat out, just as Romeo sighed “What have I done now?”</p><p>“You know full well what you’ve done,” the boy hissed, his hands clutching as Romeo’s hoodie. “Fondling fucking little girls on the dirt like roadside whores.”</p><p>Benvolio winced, scanning the Capulet brat’s clothes for hidden knives while he was facing away and getting ready to pull Romeo away and down the stairs if necessary. The violence of the words made Romeo shiver, but his face was flat and there was the same look of unnatural calm in his eyes that made him pull his hair and ask if he was still in the world of the living when they were little.</p><p> “I made love to my girlfriend, I wouldn’t think that’s something wrong with that,” he said calmly. Tybalt’s hand rose to slap him, but before Benvolio could jump at him he let Romeo go on his own, bending over in hysterical laughter until he leaned on his knees. </p><p>“Girlfriend, well, well. Let’s see if you still think there’s nothing wrong now.”<br/>
He sounded drunk.</p><p>“What?” Romeo asked, panic slipping in his voice, but Tybalt flipped the bird at them without turning around, barreling down the stairs and out of their view.</p><p>“Weirdo,” he mumbled, rubbing Romeo’s shoulder as he pulled him closer. “Don’t let him freak you out. Tomorrow you’ll be off to France for the championship, and tough shit if he wants some vengeance from you then.” </p><p>Romeo gave him a smile that didn’t reach the eyes. When he opened the door of their apartment that fell too. </p><p>The living room, as much as the space Mercutio had dragged a throne and a fucking bathub in could be called so, was a mess of overturned furniture and spilled paint, Mercutio’s brushes scattered like a swarm of bullets.</p><p>“Merc?” Romeo called, anguished, disappearing to the kitchen, and after a blink he followed him too, darting from corner to corner, so lightheaded with worry he feared he wouldn’t have known Mercutio if he was right before him. </p><p>They found him lying face down behind the desk, with just his painting robe on, and though he made an effort to roll on his side and curl up when he heard them come, he couldn't hide the blood running over his face and down his legs, nor the dark fingerprints around his neck. </p><p>"Oh, fuck…" </p><p>He held Mercutio's hand as Romeo wrapped an arm around his shoulders to help him sit up, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. “Jesus Christ, are you okay? What a freak. What did he even want with you?” </p><p>He tried to sound upbeat and casual, but there was something off he couldn’t exactly pinpoint. He could imagine that maybe Tybalt had surprised him in the bath, roughed him up and left him there as a warning, but - though like hell he was going to say out loud - it was strange he would have needed to do such a mess to subdue him. The bastard had gotten kicked out of the military for overfighting, for fuck’s sake, against a scrawny naked boy with nothing sharper than a paintbrush available-</p><p>Mercutio shrugged, and Romeo sniffled and hid his face against his shoulder. “Oh, it’s all my fault, isn’t it? He wanted to get back at you for Jul- for what I did. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t…”</p><p>“Don’t get yourself down, princess.” Mercutio whispered, his lips twisting bitterly. “I can make enemies on my own, you know.”</p><p>“Oh, I have no doubts of that.” Benvolio tried to smile. "But did he threaten you, or insult you or-" </p><p>"He didn't stop by to take tea and chat, Ben." </p><p>He winced at how hoarse and raspy his voice sounded. "Okay, okay, you know what? Let's…. Let's not freak out. Why don’t you come lie down a bit?”</p><p>He braced himself for more painful snark, or Mercutio hardening up and refusing any kindness at all, like he did when he was very upset, but he just sighed and came up without a struggle, leaning on his arm. He was barely needed - Romeo was supporting most of his weight, clinging to him possessively like mussels on the reef, he used to tease him when they were children - but he felt Mercutio shake uncontrollably against his side and he held him tighter. </p><p>They sat him down on the couch and Mercutio threw his head back over the armrest and sighed, closing his eyes. His hand shook a little when he gripped the cushion to adjust himself, so Romeo gripped it, pressing a kiss on his knuckle. Benvolio took his chance to retreat to the kitchen for a bowlful of ice and knelt next to Mercutio. Gently, he pressed a cube against the bruises, letting his warm fingertip wander down the hollow of his throat to make up for the chill. “Does it -”</p><p>“I don’t fucking think so.”<br/>
He winced as Mercutio slapped his hand away, sending the ice cube flying into his face. He looked at Romeo for help, and Romeo blinked back tears and bit his lip and handed him another cube.</p><p>He sighed. “Well, you can hold it on your own if it makes you feel better.”<br/>
He put the ice in Mercutio’s free hand, watched nervously as he put it against his neck for a moment, then lifted it over his face, studying the lamplight refracting on the edges. His arm jerked, he sat up and hurled the ice cube off to shatter against the opposite wall, crossing his arms over his face with a frustrated groan. His shoulders rattled when Romeo put his arms around him.</p><p>“We just want to help, Merc, there’s no shame in hurting.”<br/>
He pressed his palm against Mercutio’s cheek, but he jerked his face away stubbornly, looking down. Romeo sighed, a sharp note slipping into his soft voice. “You should be angry at this Tybalt boy, and I won’t blame you for being angry at me, but there’s no reason to be angry with Ben and absolutely none to be so cruel to yourself.” </p><p>Mercutio shrugged,shuddered, twisted away from Romeo. He threw a sullen glance in Benvolio’s direction and choked down a few sobs before he couldn’t hold anything back anymore. He hugged his knees and buried his forehead against them. Romeo hesitantly rubbed his back when he started to hyperventilate, but the way he ignored his touch as if he were just an inconvenient fly unnerved Benvolio more than the protests and grimaces had. </p><p>He went to fetch him some water, of which he did drink some, splashed the rest in Benvolio’s face and threw the glass to the other side of the room to mix up prettily with the ice, so red in the face he looked about to burst.<br/>
“You need to calm the fuck down,” he whispered in his ear, brushing his lips against his temple.</p><p>He rolled up a joint, lit it and closed Mercutio’s fingers around it, cupping his palm under his hand to support it, but he shook so badly it fell off at once, smearing weed and ash on the carpet.</p><p>Benvolio took a deep breath. “Merc, try -”</p><p>Before he could phrase <i> get it together, man </i> in a way that wasn’t too offensive to his sensitive state, Mercutio sagged and vomited on the floor, wheezing feebly. He went very pale and lolled over the edge of the couch as if he didn’t have the strength to get up and was about to just vault over on the ground, but Romeo pulled him up and propped him against his chest, stroking the tense space between his shoulder blades.</p><p>Benvolio resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands and cry. “Maybe we should go to the hospital, Merc,” he said, delicately thumbing tears off his cheeks. He wrapped a quilt around his shoulders, and his arm around his waist to pull him on his feet. “Just a quick thing. You had a rough fight, and you might have a concussion, or-” </p><p>“I just need to go to sleep,” Mercutio mumbled, half-heartedly poking his elbow into Benvolio’s ribs. “Let me be, I know whining and fussing makes you feel better but I can’t deal with your shit right now.”</p><p>“You’re bleeding,” Romeo said, looking down, his voice trembling a little. Benvolio followed his eyes to Mercutio’s bare knees, a thin streak of blood starting to stain his calf and shivered.</p><p>“What?” Mercutio looked at himself, hollow-eyed, then flinched and jumped back to the corner, pulling the robe tight around himself. “Yes, that’s true, I’m bleeding all over your precious moping couch, Ro. I hope that’s an okay price for having your friend back all in one piece. Hopefully your girlfriend will let you take your depression naps in her bed.” </p><p>Romeo sniffled. He put his arm around his shoulder, seeing as it would be more appreciated by him than Mercutio, but Romeo didn’t snuggle onto him or rub his tears against his sleeve like when they were kids watching horror movies. He looked at Mercutio, his eyes lost and a little cold. “It’s not odd you would be a mess if you had to fight him like this. Did he break in while you were in the bath?”</p><p>“What? Yeah. Dirty fighting fucker.” He rubbed his eyes and curled with his face sunken in the headrest. Benvolio and Romeo exchanged a look. He hadn’t stopped to check if the door had been broken in, but the bathtub was not in its designated place in the living room and Mercutio could barely move it on his own on a good day, let alone empty it and put it back in this state.</p><p>Benvolio flinched as he felt Romeo’s nails grip into the back of hand, his fingers twitching in a panic to hold onto him. He looked at him in questioning, but Romeo didn’t spare him a glance. “Did he have a knife too?” He said, oddly flatly.</p><p>He elbowed him, exasperated. The boy could not leave well enough alone, it had always been an issue and worsened in the last very rough few months he had - he never could fathom that because he enjoyed attention and comforting words and crying his feelings out on any passingly familiar shoulder, it didn’t mean it worked out well with everyone else. “Romeo, I don’t see how that-” </p><p>“He did pull one out of me, but he didn’t feel like using it, I guess. He’s an old fashioned boy. Handsy.” He fidgeted with a loose thread of the couch.</p><p>Romeo reached out hesitantly and stroked the back of his neck. “Did he do something to you against your will?” He said, so quietly it took Benvolio a few moments to put the words together.</p><p>“Why, yes, I did not invite him in for a friendly round of boxing, although now we are definitely due for a rematch,” Mercutio spat out before he could pull Romeo out to the kitchen and ask him what the fuck was wrong with him. </p><p>Romeo frowned. “Okay. I’m sorry.” He bit down a whimper. The tears started to drip out, so Benvolio patted his hand before letting it go to wipe them.</p><p>“Little asshole’s what you are,” Mercutio slurred, nudging him away with his foot. Romeo jumped like a startled kitten all the way to the opposite armrest, rubbing furiously at his eyes. Stiffly, he took his tank top off, wrapped the leftover ice in it and handed it to Mercutio, who snatched it before Romeo could reach out to touch him and shoved it unceremoniously under his bathrobe, staring up with a defiant glare.</p><p>Benvolio rubbed his temples, took a long, weary look at both boys, then turned his back to them, busying himself with cleaning up the mess. He got more water for Mercutio, which he just left on the floor next to him without bothering with offering it, and a tissue for Romeo.</p><p>“Does it hurt?” he asked as he wiped his tears, sounding all of four years old and staring at Mercutio with wide, moony eyes.</p><p>“Drop it, Ro,” he hissed, smacking him over the head. </p><p>That made Mercutio laugh quite mirthlessly. “Listen up, baby boy. I should be left to stew in my misery all alone.” He examined the paper cup Benvolio had brought him, evidently decided it wouldn’t be satisfying to throw it and started taking it apart, painfully exposing the nervous twitch of his hands.</p><p>“How could the boy have done anything to me against my will when I let him in?” He asked dreamily. “I did it all on my own, you know, because I’m a reckless idiot. I saw him skulking about in the parking lot waiting for you to come home, so I opened the door for him, in my fancy nightgown with nothing underneath, fondled his arms and spread my legs for him so maybe he would just fuck himself out of the murderous mood and run off to stick his dick in the fridge before you came back.”</p><p>Benvolio held his breath, giving him a nervous once over - he wouldn’t put it beyond Mercutio at all to lie about this in a last-ditch effort for pride to act like it was all a bizarre kink thing they weren’t supposed to pity him for, but there was something poisonous about his voice and his eyes looked about to crack at the slightest pressure like glass marble - but before he could do anything the silence was broken by Romeo’s sobbing, grown too loud to muffle.</p><p>Mercutio blinked, staring at Romeo as if he had shot a gun into the ceiling, then he threw the mangled cup at him and <i> jumped </i> him, slamming his knee over Romeo’s hip and digging his fingers bloody onto his shoulder.</p><p>“Ungrateful little asshole. How can you say it was <i> against my will, </i> when I did this all very willingly, nobody forcing me, and all for you? Now you’ll have the nerve to not give me credit for it, but I’m not taking this shit again.”</p><p>Benvolio wound his arms around Mercutio’s waist and pried him away,  wincing when he screamed and tried to claw at him. He held his palm against Mercutii's chest and buried his chin in his shoulder to pull him closer, until he was too taken up in trembling with rage to fight Benvolio off. </p><p>“Nobody is saying that. You were very brave,” he said shakily, stroking his back as if he was petting a nervous kitten. There had always been something about Mercutio’s awkward grandeur in expressing affection that made him want to hold him tight and fill him with compliments like a troubled child in need of positive reinforcement, but it weighed on his heart how all it ever did was pave the way for his pain. “We love you.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Romeo added, his face so deeply buried in his hands his eyes barely peeked out, and Benvolio felt Mercutio’s heart spasm and race against his palm. </p><p>“Well, it’s good to know you’re sorry I saved your life, yes, I will not next time.” He giggled, leaning out of Benvolio’s arms to cup his cheeks. Romeo blushed at his touch.<br/>
“Don’t be sorry. It was all perfectly nice when I invited him in and let him perch on my throne and look down at me, until I tried to take his shirt off. Gave him the idea I wanted to be the man, the silly little thing, so he just choked me out and fucked me into a stain on the floor. That’s how all you brooding repressed assholes are. You’ve got to look down at someone grovelling for you.”</p><p>Benvolio breathed in deeply and felt himself rattle with it, unstable and unreliable against Mercutio. He felt his lack of any helpful word to say swell up and sting in his throat, and all he could manage to do was hold Mercutio tighter and stroke his neck in nervously small, ineffectual touches. He was floating in a nightmare.</p><p>Romeo was cupping Mercutio’s hands tight and kissing his knuckles, and Benvolio was grateful for his tearful ramblings filling the silence and getting as much of Mercutio’s attention he could possibly muster for a while. Once he came to say “I would die for you too” Benvolio shook himself, got up and gently nudged Romeo away, trying to keep his hands from shaking. </p><p>“It’s all right, Merc, we’re here now.”  He cleared his throat, wishing he sounded less like a nervous mouse squeak. “He won’t show his face here again, we’ll take care of that. We can go to the cops now, it won’t take long. We’ll take care of all the paperwork, and you don’t even need to get dressed if you don’t want to.”</p><p>"With what crime? Throwing down my brushes and leaving a couple bloodstains? Minor vandalism?" </p><p>"Mercutio." Romeo put his hand on his shoulder. </p><p>Mercutio shrugged him off. "I let him in. With cheerful demeanor and slutty apparel, leaving no doubts whatsoever. What the fuck can I complain of?"</p><p>"Assault and battery, for one thing, if you don't want to go into detail." </p><p>"Catch the fuck up, Ben. Do I look like someone who's not expecting to get a little bruised when they invite someone in? Do I look like anyone would believe that?" </p><p>He actually <i> sniffled </i> as he said that, and Benvolio hugged himself and dug his nails deep into his forearms.  </p><p>“Okay. That’s fine, no cops.” He squeezed Mercutio’s arm. “How are you feeling? We can just go to a doctor and not explain shit. Can’t force us. We can go in and out and not say a word.” </p><p>“No, I don’t believe you. No way we can get away with that.” </p><p>“We’ll be fine, they’re only supposed to call the cops if there’s gunshot wounds, I promise. Is that right, Ro?”</p><p>Romeo bit his lip and blinked back tears. “We can patch you up here if you don’t want to go.”</p><p><i> Fucking great, </i> he mouthed at him, but Romeo didn’t look in his direction, his eyes fixed on Mercutio.  He could feel himself start to shiver, and started to nibble on his nails in contrast. </p><p>Mercutio gazed blankly at the ceiling for a while, half slumped over the cushion. “If it makes you feel more at ease, I can do it myself. Just give me the things and leave me be.”</p><p>This time Romeo did turn to him, the saddest eyes he had ever seen, and he had to tear his own gaze away from him with a struggle, setting his head straight. “Well, that’s something. You should do what you want, just don’t be reckless, okay? “ He wanted to hug Mercutio, but he wasn’t sure he was allowed, so he ended up just very awkwardly running his thumb down his cheek. “Can we make you up a nice bath in the meanwhile?”</p><p>Mercutio slid down a bit and hugged his knees, then nodded stiffly as if he was making them a great concession. “If you want, yes, I’ll like it.”</p><p>He breathed out in relief - he figured there was not much else they could make him accept. He helped Romeo up and went hunting after rubbing alcohol and gauze while Romeo dragged the bathtub in. </p><p>He turned away from him right away for his comfort and kept going back and forth with pots of water without looking at him, even when he started to whimper and curse at every movement and, judging from the smell, pouring alcohol everywhere from the shaking. Romeo just hid in the kitchen to fill the pots and hand them to him, not even try to stop the tears streaming down his cheeks anymore. He cut it down abruptly enough when they were finished, though, and Benvolio had to wonder since when he had that kind of self control.</p><p>“Thank you,” Mercutio mumbled, hoarse and funereal. He got up and immediately stumbled off into Romeo’s arms, gritting his teeth as he eased him in. He threw his robe off to the side and looked up at Benvolio sullenly. His eyes were bloodshot and the scrapes on his legs dyed bright neon red with disinfectant. “Well, you’re not going to make it a bubble bath? You can count my pubic hair in here.”</p><p>“Well, we can leave you alone for a little,” he said, hesitant, and felt immediately relieved when Romeo and Mercutio snapped “No” in a chorus.</p><p>“It’s going to sting.” he warned him, but Romeo just went and squeezed his half-finished shampoo into the water until the foam started to bubble up at the edges. Mercutio stirred it lazily, gasping and hissing at every wrong movement. </p><p>“What a sweetie you are, Ro Ro. So bad you’re running off with your girlfriend tomorrow and leaving us all in the shit. What do you think I’m going to do without you?”</p><p> Romeo swallowed. “I don’t think I’m really going to leave, not… now. Maybe we should talk a bit more before we take this sort of step.”</p><p>Mercutio laughed and looked at him sideways. “Why? What would you be staying for?”</p><p>He splashed at him, and then again more forcefully when Romeo just winced a little and stroked his cheek. Benvolio stopped him and held his hand, squeezing it tight when Mercutio sniffled.  </p><p>“Wow, are you guys touchy. Can’t say shit in this house,” he muttered, and then he started to cry in earnest, sobbing softly like a small child. </p><p>He kissed the back of his hand. “Sure you can.”</p><p>“Mh.” He leaned back on the edge of the tub. “I’d like to go underwater and float a little but it’s going to sting my stupid face.” He plucked at his lip, wiping the blood off in the water. “I really am an idiot. I don’t know how you stand me at all. Should just have gone at the fucker with a knife and then one way or another we’d not be in his mess.” </p><p>“Why do you think that?” Romeo asked softly, and Benvolio really, really wished he hadn’t. His heart skipped with fright when Mercutio opened his mouth to say something, feeling acutely that he could only hear so many awful things and still function at all - but Mercutio only laughed mirthlessly and closed his eyes.</p><p>They waited a little, looking at each other nervously when his breathing started to even out.<br/>
Benvolio let go of his hand, letting it flop in the water, and gently ran his fingers through his hair. The fresh red dye had come off here and there, he noticed, in handfuls where the Capulet bastard must have gripped his hair to hold him still, thin and bleach-damaged, his natural brown more shocking to Benvolio’s eyes than any neon shade could be. Like this, and with his make up washed off, he looked very young and helpless, a version of himself Benvolio had never met. He bent down to kiss his temple, and Mercutio smiled faintly, but didn’t open his eyes. Benvolio swallowed nervously, but kept the caresses going. Part of him wanted to make a last case for going to the hospital, but he supposed it was not outlandish for Mercutio to be simply exhausted and disinclined to put up with the real world at the moment.</p><p>“I could fix it up.”  Romeo mumbled. He turned around to him, startled and uncomprehending for a moment. “There must be dye left somewhere. So he… he doesn’t have to look at the... evidence, you know.” His fingertips hovered over the bruises around his throat, not quite daring touching him. “Less of it, anyway.”</p><p>Benvolio rubbed his temples forcefully, trying to will the gears to connect at least a little. There was a faint, general sensation it might be a bad idea, but no part of him was clearly operating on logic right now, so he couldn’t trust that. “Mh, great. Yeah, you do that.”<br/>
It was true having a bit of his defenses back on might make him feel better in the morning, if not now, and he doubted Mercutio would object, even in this state, to Romeo fussing over him and sweetly playing with his hair. </p><p>He rubbed Mercutio’s shoulders while Romeo ran to the bathroom and scooted a little to the right to just stroke his arm when he came back, trying to keep him as relaxed as possible. He was terrified of him flinching at his touch and freaking out again, of the thought there was absolutely nothing they could do to comfort him, but Mercutio only sighed when Romeo started to wash his hair, red dye slipping through his fingers like blood.<br/>
He found it oddly hard to tear his eyes away from it.</p><p>“Are you okay? Does it feel good?” he whispered to Mercutio when Romeo wrapped the towel around his shoulders and started working the new batch of mix in. </p><p>He giggled, then grimaced. “Oh, like his pretty little hands are made for this. Maybe I’ll always have him do this.” He winked up at Romeo. “Maybe next time I’ll get it periwinkle blue, like your eyes. I’m pretty sick of the red.”</p><p>Romeo sniffled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask you if -”</p><p>“Shut up.” He smiled as he said that, and Benvolio’s head was full of buzzing questions, of which he didn’t want to voice even one.<br/>
Romeo finished and wrapped Mercutio’s hair up, then moved to the side of the tub. He dipped his hand in the water and rubbed out the stains on his forehead. </p><p>Mercutio opened his eyes at the touch, staring up at him with a smirk.</p><p>“You look nice,” Romeo said, his voice a little strangled. Benvolio squeezed his shoulder encouragingly, and Romeo’s hand fell a bit, curling around the back of Mercutio’s head, his thumb brushing on his cheekbone. Then he bent in and pressed his lips against his. Mercutio’s eyes widened as he sank into the kiss, his hand tightening around the edge.</p><p>“Romeo!” he hissed, and Romeo pulled away abruptly, blinking fast. He sucked a breath in and hugged himself, looking at Mercutio as if his death sentence was about to fall from his lips.</p><p>Mercutio threw his head back and laughed. “No, Ben, let him be. How can such a soft little thing hurt me now?” </p><p>Romeo pressed his hand against his mouth, his eyes filling with tears. “I’m going to make you a chamomile tea,” he mumbled, and disappeared to the kitchen, a little sob escaping before he closed the door.</p><p>“Well, this was weird,” Mercutio muttered, then grimaced. “It’s getting cold in here.”</p><p>He sighed. “Come here.” He helped him out and helped him wrap himself up into a quilt. Mercutio threw a disgusted look at the bloody couch and huddled on the floor instead, so he sat down next to him. </p><p>“Are you feeling better?” He wanted to pull him in a hug, but decided to just put his hand on the small on his back, without getting too close.</p><p>He shrugged. “A little bit.”</p><p>He nodded quietly, and then Mercutio shifted to sit in his lap, leaning his hand on Benvolio’s shoulder. He giggled. “Wow, well. I’m happy the weird kissing didn’t upset you too much.”</p><p>“No, what’s upsetting about it? He wasn’t hiding the pity very well even before that. I can’t blame him, I’m feeling a fair bit sorry for myself too.”</p><p>“Merc, I don’t…” He sighed, throwing his arm around him. “Listen, I’ve known Romeo since we were babies. If there’s... something you have trouble talking about, I could have a conversation with him. It would be better for the both of you.”</p><p>Mercutio scoffed. “What for? He’s going to leave with his girlfriend, in a week if not tomorrow, he’s going to leave this place and his father’s baggage behind and go get his future started. I’m good. The whole purpose of having a goodbye kiss is to do that instead of talking and crying.”</p><p>“I really doubt that’s how -”</p><p>“I didn’t do this for him to look at me differently, Ben. I chose it.”</p><p>“I know. I know you.” He kissed his cheek, hugging him tight. “I would just like you two to be a little happier. Seems like I’m the only one who’s making the effort here sometimes.”</p><p>“And you can fuck off with that.” He stood up, grimacing, but kept his balance well this time. “I think I should go to sleep. I’ll stain the bed all red too, but when one starts there’s no point in stopping, is that so?”</p><p>“Sure.” He sighed, brushing a strand of soaked, red-dripping hair back into the wrap. “I’ll tell Romeo to bring you the chamomile tea in bed. It will make it easier.”</p><p>The corner of his lips curled up in a bittersweet flash. “It will give me sweet dreams, and those will make reality suck much worse. But I’ll thank him all the same.”</p><p>He squeezed his shoulder before letting him go, and waited to hear him step through the hallway, slam the door and jolt the springs of his bed, leaning his ear against the wall. Then he picked up the crumpled robe on the floor, folded it up loosely and went to the kitchen. Romeo lifted his head from the table, his mouth in an O, red eyed. “Is Merc alright?" </p><p>"Yes, don't worry. He went to bed."<br/>
He stuck the robe into a plastic bag and sat across the table from Romeo, taking his hands into his, trying to smile. "Just needs a little space, that's all, and he needs us to not let him take so much space he just drifts away. That's nothing new, we can manage this." </p><p>"That's okay." He sniffled. "I'm sorry I made everything worse." </p><p>“No, don’t be stupid.” He leaned to ruffle his hair and kiss the top of his head, drawing out a painful little smile. He drummed his fingers on the table as Romeo got up to stir the chamomile, biting his lip. “Hey, could you… No.”</p><p>“What do you need?” Romeo’s hands seized nervously around the wooden spoon, eyes wide and eager. </p><p>“No, it’s better for me to go.” He thought of Mercutio’s stubborn tearful sarcasm, the weight of his sighs on his skin. “You just go bring Mercutio his chamomile, and maybe lie down with him for a while after. He’ll like it.”</p><p>“If you think so.” Romeo blushed. “But if you need me…”</p><p>“No, no.” He ran his hand through his hair, dwelling on the merits of silence. It felt very suddenly and overwhelmingly heavy, such that the idea of getting up and going through the door without speaking felt unbearable, so he went on, showing Romeo the packed robe. “I’m taking this to the police. I don’t want to drag Merc here if he doesn’t feel up to it, but I think he’ll regret it, and when he does at least they’ll have the hard DNA evidence of who did it, and the blood to show how things went no matter whether he opened the fucking door or not.”</p><p>Romeo listened to him quietly, eyes wide and lips pressed together, then shook his head. “I wouldn’t. He’s not going to regret it.”</p><p>“You think so? No, that’s nonsense. He thinks that now he’s scared and hurting and of course he’d like to just burrow into bed and never talk to anyone again, but he’ll be angry again soon enough, and he won’t want to let it slide, and neither do I.”</p><p>Romeo kicked the chair in frustration. “Do you think I want to? But it could. Merc is going to have to go to court to testify, and do it for days and weeks, and he’ll have all these people look at him and mock him and ask him all those intrusive questions that have nothing to do with this until he can’t bear it anymore, and for what, for judge Capulet to pay the jury off so his son just gets community service? I’ve seen how trials are. I’ve never been to one and didn’t need to curl up on myself and cry after, and those were not even about what <i> I </i> did. Do you think Merc can take this right now?”</p><p>He groaned, burying his face in his hands. He thought of the morning Romeo’s father was arrested, how he’d clung to him on the tribunal steps, blinking in the camera lights - and even if he thought that Mercutio could probably power through a trial looking more hardened and amused about it than Romeo had, it didn’t mean that held any truth, and it didn’t mean he wanted him to. “What, should that bastard just get away with it then? Go free and unscathed, with the risk Mercutio would have to meet him again next time he shows up to a party no one wants him at? He shouldn’t have to suffer that either.”</p><p>“No, no,” Romeo said softly, nervously twisting his hands in his lap. “He won’t. I’m going to kill him.”</p><p>The tension ruptured in his throat and he burst out laughing, slamming his palm against his forehead in a burst of stifled rage. Romeo didn’t speak, nor did he join him, looking at him with sad, sullen eyes, until the silence became uncomfortable. “Well, sure,” he poked at him, staring for the slightest change in expression. “That’s the only way sometimes. I’ll come.”</p><p>“Yes, you’re right, but you’re not coming. I have my own knife, and if it has to be a fair fight I don’t want you to be involved. I’m the one who got us here.”</p><p>He could feel the smile drain away from his face, leaving exposed and breathless. “Romeo, you can’t be serious about this. Think about it for five fucking seconds.”</p><p>“Why, do you have moral objections? I was never meant to have any morals. My father could have murdered a whole class of kindergarteners and nothing will ever give me the certainty that he didn’t, but I’ve still testified for him. I won’t grow a conscience when it’s time to do the one thing I can do for my friend who was willing to die for me.”</p><p>“I don’t have any fucking moral objections.” It was downright scary, how little he felt. He took a deep breath and walked to Romeo’s side, cupping his cheek and pressing his finger on his lips. “I understand how you feel, Ro, I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I didn’t mean to scold you. But let’s think this through for a moment. I love you, Merc loves you, we’d all do anything for each other, but I don’t think that because Mercutio took a risk to save your life he would want you to die or go to jail to spare him a few awkward court dates.”</p><p>“I don’t care.” Romeo shrugged him off, straightening defiantly, fists closed. “I don’t care. I’m sure that’s exactly what he’d say, but it doesn’t matter. I want him to feel safe and I love him enough for it, even if he doesn’t think he’s worth it.”</p><p>“Alright.” He sighed, poured the chamomile out into the mug to buy time and get his thoughts in order,  frustrated by how little he could deny that this would be exactly Mercutio’s thought process. “How do you think Merc will take it if you go to jail? He needs you. He can’t handle this on his own, and I’ll be there for him, but you can’t handle being in jail on your own either and there’s only one of me and quite honestly I don’t think I can handle any of this either.”</p><p>Romeo flinched away from his touch, his jaw set in a hard line. “I won’t go to jail. The bastard has a lot of enemies and I know what I’m doing. The only way anyone will find out is if you tell on me, and I really don’t think you-”</p><p>“Calm down now.” He put his arms around him, and Romeo didn’t reject him this time, though he stood stiff and straight in his embrace, without even gesturing towards holding him back. “Obviously I’m not betraying you, but do you really think no one will ever find out? Not even his sister?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re the most sincere little dolt I know. You’re not lying to your girlfriend about murdering her brother, you’re better than that. What are you going to do about this then?”</p><p>Romeo flushed red, biting his lip. “Oh, she’s not like him. She’s a good person. She’s going to understand that I had to do it.”</p><p>“Yeah? Was she understanding when you told her you’re not leaving tomorrow?”<br/>
He looked at him, lost and miserable, and then sank his head in Benvolio’s shoulder with a sob. He stroked his back, smoothed down his hair and realized that he hadn’t told Juliet Capulet anything at all, whats or whys or even the most laconic warning not to show up at the airport to wait for him in vain the following morning. He saw it all again in his head, their conversation and the fierce hopeless look in Romeo’s eyes, and he understood. </p><p>“You know what? Screw this all.” He pulled away and pushed the steaming mug in his hands. “Let’s not think about this for now. Go lie down with Mercutio, give him his chamomile and tell him about this stunt you’re planning, and why you'd do it. See how he likes it. Tell me tomorrow if you’re still in the mood for murder or to run away with some girl.”</p><p>Romeo opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t. He wondered if he had just realized as well, or if he had always known deep down that this Capulet girl was only one last, desperate, flashiest getaway car before the unavoidable surrender. He wondered how much longer it would have taken had their lives gone on peacefully and uneventfully through the summer, and promptly banished the thought.</p><p>He waited for Romeo to walk hesitantly down the corridor and leaned against the wall in the empty kitchen, wondering if he would see Mercutio smile when he'd next come out.</p>
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